I often find myself sitting around asking myself “hey self, will you be ready if zombies were to rise up from the dead tonight,” suprisingly the answer is almost always a resounding no! So in an effort to keep them sweet sweet brains in my head, my good friend Matt has written this zombie faq.
A brief FAQ about Zombies
By Reverend M. Lee Honoré
What is a zombie?
A zombie is a dead human, yet it moves and hungers for human flesh. Terms such as the living dead and the undead, nomenclature like zombers and zedheads, and zombie (derived from a similar voodoo experience) all describe these creatures. Zombies have no memory of being alive, and are unable to develop new memories. The only thing that zombies think about is eating you. Most stories, zombies can only come from humans, but there have been noted stories about zombie animals.
How do I kill a zombie?
The only way to kill a zombie is by causing trauma to the brain. A zombie cannot bleed to death because its blood has been coagulated. A zombie does not feel pain as its nervous system doesn’t work and will not stop until its brain has been smashed. One or two stories about zombies imply that they are afraid of fire, but I wouldn’t put that to the test. The thing to remember is that one zombie is not necessarily scary. Zombies are scary because they come in hordes and are considered unstoppable because of their sheer numbers.