The American Petroleum Institute (API) has issued a statement criticizing a new energy bill passed by the U.S. House of Representatives on Dec. 6, and has urged the Senate to reject the legislation. Not surprising at all really considering that the new energy bill actually has some teeth in it.

“But mommy, how will we make billions and billions and billions of dollars ruining the earth if people start using wind power? Whaaaaaaaaaa!” Monty Bloodforoil president of the API said in a press release today. (ok well not really)

The bill, which would raise fuel economy standards to 35 miles per gallon by 2020; establish a nationwide renewable energy mandate and boost biofuel production to 36 billion gallons a year by 2022, was passed by the House despite a veto threat from the White House.

Under the bill, more than $13 billion in tax breaks to oil companies would be repealed, to help fund renewable energy. In a statement, API reports the House

“ducked the opportunity to craft balanced energy legislation that would ensure reliable energy supplies for American consumers. The organization indicates the tax provisions contained within the bill are “counterproductive, making it more difficult to expand domestic oil and natural gas production and refining capacity while costing American jobs.” It reports that the bill imposes an “unrealistic mandate” for an increase in renewable fuel use by 2022, and “over-promises on the potential of renewable energy to reduce petroleum demand.” (via)”

Translation, “What the hell! We didn’t pay the members of congress all that money so they could go and clean up the environment you treehugging hippy bastards!”

The API and other big carbon dinosaurs are “a quakin” in their booties because the rest of the world is waking up to realize just how foolish we have been. We give billions in subsides to these people so that they can continue to feed us the oil that even our own president admits we are addicted to (and not in a good way like “I am so addicted to chocolate” but rather “Oh god my horrible addiction to crack has ruined my life”).

We fight wars that kill hundreds of thousands of people, pollute our planet, and for what? So a couple of old white guys, and some oil sultans in the middle east can get richer than god? I say its high time America stop paying for the poison that will destroy us and instead move towards a renewable energy driven economy. Green collar jobs are the future.

It is kind of funny if you think about it. I for one got a good laugh out of the whole thing. If the API had even two brain cells they could rub together to form a thought they would see the writing on the wall. Renewable energy and efficiency combined with carbon neutral fuel sources are the only thing that is going to save us from a future of global warming induced chaos.