So yesterday I got to thinking. Lincoln would be spinning in his grave if he knew was what was going on. We could moan and groan about how bad things are but I have a different idea. Lets put all that grave turning to good use. I have a radical plan to use our disgruntled forefathers to power the future. My plan is simple yet elegant. We dig Lincoln up, cover him with copper wire, surround his grave with strong permanent earth magnets. Hook some wires up and let him twirl. My simple calculations show that one single “Lincoln” unit could produce as much as 1 million kilowatt hours of electricity a year.
Or 1 gigawatt hour of energy. This sounds like a lot but our country uses about 3848 gigawatt hours of energy each year. The only way we are going to be able to power our country is to dig up all of our great dead leaders and wire them up as well. Martin Luther King Jr., Gandhi, JFK, RFK, I am sure we can find enough. There is only one fatal flaw in this whole plan. Once our country is completely powered by the spinning of pissed off dead people, we would no longer need oil, gas, or nuclear power supplies. We would no longer have to pay large subsides to oil companies, go to war for more fuel, or elect brain dead oil tycoon puppets into office. This would have the effect of seriously limiting the amount of spin we would get out of our dead great leaders. I have thought of this as well, when we achieve this point, we will dig up all the old dead bad leaders, like Rush Limbaugh, or Rupert Murdock, or Ann Coulter, and wire them up. This way we will have clean renewable energy for ever.

Step 1 Lincoln

Step 2 Lincoln Dead

Step 3 Lincoln to Power the Future